The worst time of Remus Lupin’s life, worse even than his monthly transformations, was the end of 1981. In such a short span of time, he’d lost his closest friends. He remembered attending James and Lily’s funeral with the few members of the Order who were still alive, and a few days later, attending what he’d thought at the time was the funeral of Peter Pettigrew, where Peter’s mother had cried as she was handed the Order of Merlin, First Class for her son. Sirius’ trial occurred shortly thereafter, and Remus watched in silent sadness and anger as Sirius was dragged away from the courtroom, laughing disturbingly.
Years later, Remus and Sirius were talking at 12 Grimmauld Place, and Remus said, “I honestly don’t remember much from the few months after the war ended and the last of the Death Eaters were sent off to Azkaban,” said Remus. He added, rather sheepishly, “To be honest, I was rather drunk out of my mind —- rather upset, obviously.”
Sirius smiled a little. “Missed me, did you?”
Remus smiled back sadly. “I was there, Sirius, at your trial. I —- I’m sorry I didn’t say anything in your defense. I honestly thought you were guilty.”
“And I thought you were, before James and Lily’s deaths. We did already forgive each other for this.”
“Still, it’s a difficult guilt to forget.”